August 3rd, 2019, 6:35 pm

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Author's Comments:

Reply JoKeR, August 3rd, 2019, 6:35 pm

Yay! ...I had finally time to draw again.

Meet the Lava Guardian.

User's Comments:

Reply Guest, August 3rd, 2019, 8:16 pm

well shit

guess they learned how to spell correctly afterall

Reply JoKeR, August 3rd, 2019, 8:21 pm

@Guest: What you mean?

Reply Iceburgh69, August 4th, 2019, 12:12 am

@JoKeR: It's a play on words. Spell correctly in this case means cast a spell correctly.

Reply Seven Rain, August 4th, 2019, 1:40 pm

Oh damn, the Lava Guardian looks rad.
(And I love the guards' faces in those middle panels, haha.)

Reply Chains (Guest), August 4th, 2019, 4:03 pm


He's bigger than in the first run.

Interresting how you restructured the scene, though I have to admit that I liked the stealth version better. Seemed more... reasonable, I guess? It always bothers me a bit when characters get noticed by large ammounts of (presumably) trained guards RIGHT IN THE ENEMYS STRONGHOLD, and the guards don't react in any coordinated manner beyond "run after them as a mob". These guys should have used their knowledge of the territory to herd the boys into a corner or flanked them to cut them of. It just seems unrealistic for the people in charge of upholding the law in this city (even if their superiors are corrupt shits) to be incompetent.

That is not to say that this isn't a valid way to write the story, or an unentertaining read, I just am no fan of that particular trope. And I like stealth scenes.

Reply JoKeR, August 4th, 2019, 4:46 pm

@Chains: NOpe...
First, that's not "him".
Second, that part is still there but comes later.
Third, the guards are not that dumb. (^__-)

Ps. I love your critique.
It gives me some good insights how people might understand a scene.

Reply Chains (Guest), August 4th, 2019, 6:23 pm

@JoKeR: And here I was worried you might take this the wrong way.

Also I am now VERY exited for the further development of this escape.

Have I mentioned that I really like the expansion of the story so far? I think I have, but it bears repeating.

Reply Maeke (Guest), August 5th, 2019, 9:53 am

Going back to my last comment, i think the guards are a bit startled there.

Reply JoKeR, August 5th, 2019, 4:34 pm

@Maeke: Do you think so?




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